Depending on God

Almost a year ago now, it was finally time for me to get glasses.

My near-sighted vision had gotten bad. It became difficult for me to see anything (people, book titles on bindings, street signs, etc.) from a faraway distance. It all looked blurry until I came up close to the subject. But everything changed once my glasses were handed to me and I placed them on my face.

I could see things faraway clearly! However, once I took my glasses off, things that were faraway went blurry again.

My eyes depend on my glasses to see everything clearly because they can’t do it on their own.

It’s just like with us and God.

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Perfectionism: What God Taught Me This Summer

I dislike being a perfectionist.

It affects how I complete tasks and my emotions. How annoying my thoughts can be sometimes as well.

I dealt with this flaw quite heavily during the duration of the National Bible Bee Summer Study. My desire to qualify for Nationals became very large and spiraled out of control quite fast. I wanted to do better than last year, but I put too much pressure on myself in the process.

This caused unnecessary stress, worry, and feeling overwhelmed. And it didn’t help that I was consumed with the past; dwelling on my rank from last year.

I eventually realized that my perfectionism had officially become worse.

I’ve always dealt with perfectionism since I was little, but it never really was a big deal. But since it was not dealt with, it’s just stuck with me and got bigger and bigger as I started doing more things.

This summer, I was frustrated with myself because of the thoughts I had and the toll it took on my emotions. Some days, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. On other days, my moods would change rapidly and suddenly.

Every part of me was obsessed with doing better, but I ended up just damaging myself. And I hated that.

I began to feel compressed on the inside, like a burden was holding me down. It felt like I couldn’t break free from it and I wanted to cry so much, but never let the tears come out.

So what did I do?

In the beginning, I prayed constantly. But as studying for Bible Bee seemed to become easier, I slacked off. I began to rely on myself instead of my Savior. But that’s WRONG.

God gives us the ability to do what we do, so technically we cannot do anything without Him. However, my mind kept saying, “You’re doing fine; keep pushing yourself.”

But we are weak, and we must accept that fact. We can never be perfect because were born with a sinful nature. That cannot be changed.

2nd Corinthians 12:9-10 teaches us to run to God in our weaknesses, so that we can be strong in His grace. We will always be weak without Him. Thus we need to run to ALWAYS run to Him.

I know that is hard, but dear friend, it must be done. Otherwise, we’ll feel miserable.

Run to God all the time because He cares.

We can cry to God all day long (Psalm 86:3) and He listens.

Cast your anxieties upon Him (1 Peter 5:7).

Pray instead of worrying (Philippians 4:6).

Do not neglect your Savior, but instead invite Him into your struggles.

You do not have to struggle alone.

I really wish I had cared to learn this earlier, but you know, I think this is the reason why God kept nudging me to not give up. There was something that He wanted me to learn, and if I had given up early on, I would have never learned this at the time I needed most.

Nothing will change if we keep hanging on. So let God be in control and find your peace in Him; He has grace to give.


Resources –

5 Ways to Let Go of Perfectionism and Embrace God’s Will

Wisdom for the Perfectionist

Good News for the Perfectionist


At the moment, the summer study is finally over. I took the qualifying test on Sunday and actually felt pretty good when I submitted it. But until I find out the results tomorrow, I’m leaving it in the Lord’s Hand. Whether I qualify or not, He’s going to be glorified in the end. And knowing that, I can be content with whatever the outcome is.

Suffer for His Name

Witnessing can be a pretty scary thing. We really don’t know what people will think or say when we try to share our faith and tell them about Jesus. And you know? The Enemy uses that fear to keep us from following the Great Commission.

What if they make fun of me?

Will they deny accepting Christ?

Will they think I’m stupid for believing in Someone I can’t see?

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Go Be a Witness

Sometimes it may seem like the idea of God using us to witness to someone is crazy. I don’t know why, but I guess it’s because when something hasn’t happened yet it’s hard to imagine it happening. But you know what? Just because it hasn’t happened, don’t doubt God. He can bring an opportunity to you in a split second, and you must be ready. How can you be though if you’re not sure when it’ll come?

Simply talk with the Lord. Ask Him to prepare you for whatever opprotunites He has in store for you.

I love how in Acts 4:29-31 (look it up!), the disciples were praying and asking God to help them to continue speaking His name with all boldness. That comes to show that they weren’t just laying around, expecting Him to give the guidance or strength to proclaim His name. Instead, they were actively relying on the Lord.

We cannot do anything without the Lord’s guidance. Anything that pertains to proclaiming Christ must be done with His guidance, otherwise, it won’t bring Him glory. Why? Because He wasn’t invovled.

We are commanded in Acts 1:8, a very well-known verse, to share the Gospel “to the end of the earth.” What a huge privellege that is. But we cannot go about doing it without the help of the Spirit of truth.

If we try to do anything on our own, it will be imperfect because we’re imperfect. And even though we are imperfect, God still wants to use us. Now, how is that even possible???

We are His vessels, the ones who communicate since Jesus is no longer here physically on earth. BUT, that doesn’t mean He is not working in some way because He is. He works in the heart of the people.

We plant the seed and water it a little, then He comes in to help it grow. In a sense, He uses our words as a jump starter.

We must follow the Great Commission so that others can be saved and have Hope. However, must first allow God to do a work in us. This is where a heart check comes in.

Are you allowing God’s word to transform your life?

Are you still living in the old sinful lifestyle of yours?

Do others see the fruits of your labor?

Can people tell if you have Christ in your heart or not?

Do you desire to have a relationship with God? Or is He just on the back burner?

Before we can even tell people about Christ, we must be on track with Lord.

Yes, we will fall off the wagon sometimes, but that is all apart of the journey and that’s what can be said to people. Life won’t get easier when you accept Christ. In fact, it’ll be harder because you’ll experience spiritual warfare. However, it can be combatted by staying on your knees in prayer.

Nothing we do can ever be done perfectly, but with the guidance of the Lord, it will be done just the way He desires.

He’s not done with you, friend. Let Him work and find a way to live for Him today. Take a stand for Jesus and don’t be ashamed.

If the apostles were able to do it, so can we.


I had no intention of releasing this post today (yet alone writing it at such a late time last night). I had no intention of posting as regularly as I have been. But the Lord has been putting so many ideas on my heart and instantly given me the words to write; I have so many drafts. And you know, God has given me the time to write even though I’m busy with Bible Bee and other things. Honestly, this shows me that this is exactly what He wants me to do and I’m grateful for the opportunity. There’s a purpose that He has for me with this blog and I pray that He may be glorified and that you, my dear reader, would be encouraged.

Never Cease Worshipping

Has there ever been a time where you stopped worshipping God? You began to slack on having your quiet time, praying to Him, hiding His Word in your heart, and are not in communion with Him anymore. It happens to all of us at one point or another. But what about when a habit forms and you stop making time for an extended period?

First and foremost, I want to tell you that it is all the Enemy.

He’s trying to lead you astray from God and mess with your mind.

“It’s okay if you miss a week.”

“God’s not going to hear your prayer.”

“Is investing in a relationship with Him really worth it? What will you gain out of it?”

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Devoted + Blog Update

Devoted.

What exactly does this word mean?

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, devoted means “characterized by loyalty and devotion.”

Why is it so difficult to be devoted to things that will help us in our faith then the things within this world? The Enemy tries to attack us every minute of everyday to get us to stray away from God. He does not want us to grow in our faith but instead be a servant to sin.

Currently, I’m participating in the National Bible Bee Summer Study and we’re specifically studying Acts 1-11 this year. In chapter 2, there is something that stood out to me that I’d like to discuss.

In verse 42, it talks about the devotion the church of believers had.

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers

Acts 2:42

Specifically, there are two things that they were devoted to which I desire to be more devoted in.

The Apostle’s Teaching

The apostle’s were pretty much the first pastors during that time. They taught believers and unbelievers a like about the good news of Jesus and what it meant to be saved. As Peter said, “For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself” (Acts 2:39).

At the moment, my family and I do not have a church home so on Sundays, we generally listen to a sermon by some of our favorite preachers, such as Charles Stanley and Adrian Rogers. I’ll be honest and say that sometimes, I don’t want to do that. I seriously do not know why, except the fact that it’s the work of the Enemy. I desire to be more dedicated in discovering what God wants me to learn through taking notes and studying the given passages. But I just can’t seem to.

But you know what God has been telling me over and over, even though I have not obeyed yet? “Come to Me for help.”

Do you know how much I dislike asking for help, even though this is for something that can help me grow spiritually? As I have said countless times, I want to try to handle things on my own, but time and time again, I’ve learned that I cannot. Yet, even though I know this, I try anyway.

However, in order to be devoted to hearing the Word of God being taught, it must start with the heart; having the desire to hear from Him.

Prayer

It’s quite refreshing to see how the apostles prayed about everything. At the end of Acts 1, they prayed to God for direction regarding who should replace Judas. Talk about bringing everything to God in prayer.

I will also admit that I’m not very devoted to praying. It’s always been a difficult thing for me to do, even though there are many times I can fit it in.

Just recently, my Mom was telling my Sister and I, “Ask the Lord to give you the desire to be in His presence. Not reading your Bible, but just being still.” (Your wisdom sticks with me more than you know, Mom. 🙂

Praying is how we can communicate with our Heavenly Father about anything and another way to make our relationship with Him more personal.

What it All Comes Down to

With anything that we want to do that will grow our relationship with Christ, yet can’t seem to do it, what do we do? Pray, pray, pray.

Only God can give us the strength to do anything, including the things we desire to do that we keep pushing off. He wants us to draw closer to Him, which is why He wants us to run to Him about everything.

Pray and ask God to show you where you can fit in extra time with Him or work on hiding the Word in your heart. He desires to help His children because He loves them. But it’s up to us to make the first move, which is going to Him and allowing Him to move.


As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I’m doing the National Bible Bee Summer Study. So that means I won’t have as much time to post on here. I was still definitely pop in whenever I feel led to share something, but it will be more irregular. I hope you have a lovely summer season. ❤

Do Not Grumble or Complain

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing…”

Philippians 2:14

When I was younger, I used to have major attitude problems, especially when I had to do things I didn’t like. It was always visible on my face and how I would go about completing that task. But after stumbling upon Philippians 2:14 in 7th grade, everything change.

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Trusting God with the Future

When I was in 8th grade, I thought I had everything planned out regarding College. I knew that I wanted to attend my local community college to double-major and get an AA in Journalism and Photography, then transfer to my local University to receive a BA in both of those.

But, now, it seems as if those plans I thought I wanted to pursue are changing. I still want to major in Journalism and Photography, but I’m also considering Library Sciences. All three of those majors include things I am interested in. And on top of that, I’ve heavily thought about maybe going straight to University after High School.

Between my Junior and Senior year, I will meet the A-G requirements to do that, and thus, I want to pursue it. It’ll allow me to attend an online Christian University (I’m uncertain of where the world will be regarding COVID in 2023, so I’m really considering this option).

I’ve been looking into Universities and talking with my Guidance Counselor and family about the ideas I have in mind. However, thinking about something that is so far away (2 years, to be exact) stresses me. But even though I can get stressed regarding it, I cannot stop thinking about it; it feels as if this is one thing I’m always thinking about all the time.

But, I also feel fearful of not knowing if my plans and dreams are within God’s will and if He has something else in my mind for me. I’ve been wondering, “Will I be okay if God changes the plans?” And because of that, it seems as if I’m trying to plan it all myself, as I want things to go my way.

I realize that what I’m doing is wrong. Sure, it’s okay that I have ideas about what I want to pursue, but ultimately I have to trust God and ask Him for guidance. He already has everything figured out; He knows what College I’ll go to and what I’ll major in, but He just hasn’t shown me yet. I must be willing to let Him lead instead of worrying since I’m trying to figure it out myself.

A Bible verse that the Lord has been pressing on my heart as of lately is 1st Thessalonians 5:17.

Pray without ceasing.

1st Thessalonians 5:17

It’s a concise verse, yet there is so much truth in it. In short, we should bring everything to God in prayer.

Honestly, I don’t pray nearly enough as I should be, as it’s something that I tend to put on the back burner. But I’m learning that spending time in prayer is a way to help my relationship with God grow since it is constant one-on-one communication with Him. I should be praying to Him about everything all the time; it’ll help me trust Him more and leave matters into His Hands.

Oh, what needless pain we bear; all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”

What A Friend We Have in Jesus

This will be a challenging journey because I really have to trust God with this big decision. I don’t know what is to come or what He has in-store, which is why I cannot rely on myself. I do not have all the answers, and I’m certainly not perfect. I pray that the Lord may help me not just say it but actually live it out.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

What is something that you have learned about trusting God?

Why I’m Not Grieving Over My “B”

Today was a nerve-wracking day. I knew that I had to take my finals for school, but I was so scared of my Honors Geometry final. Throughout this semester, I have struggled with many concepts and difficulties with understanding my teacher during class. Her teaching method does not compute with my brain, thus, asking for help didn’t help, and I could never reach her by phone or email.

Because of all of those things combine, I assumed that I would not do too well on my final. Although I received help from my Algebra I teacher and a classmate, I was still anxious.

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